Beautiful Couples: Razzy

I have a lot of fictional couples, but some are definitely more questionnaire-conducive. I chose Azrael and Rooney from Paper Hearts because a) they’re ridiculously fun and immature and b) they have sometimes-magical abilities. I mean. Obviously. Onward with the most definitely un-managed mischief.

How long have they been a couple?

“We aren’t a couple.” Azrael folded his arms and slouched into the couch, like he thought he could disappear into the faded floral pattern. “The very idea. Rooney, tell her we aren’t a couple.”

“About three months,” said Rooney.

How did they first meet?

“She came banging on the door,” said a high-pitched voice as Patrick, the irascible marionette, clambered up over the arm of the couch. “Yelling about APPRENTICESHIP and LEARNING. She wrote him a dozen letters and he said ‘no’ and she still came, like a bad penny.”

This time it was Rooney who folded her arms. “It’s rude not to reply to letters.”

“Besides, it was persistent,” said Azrael, and knocked Patrick off the couch with a swing of his gangly arm.

What were their first thoughts of each other?

“He was an arrogant prat with curly hair.” Rooney smiled, with all the benevolence of a queen.

Azrael snorted. “She was an upstart pillbug, but at least she could cook. On second thought,” he added thoughtfully, tapping his chin with a long finger, “not much has changed.”

“You’re actually right,” said Rooney.

What do they do that most annoys each other?

“He keeps changing the color of the wall paint,” Rooney scowled, kicking Azrael’s knee with one sock-clad foot.

“She keeps existing,” said Azrael.

Are their personalities opposite or similar?

A taller man with a lion’s mane of steel gray hair came down the stairs. “They’re both stubborn and childish and irritating and forgetful.”

“They’re a match made somewhere questionable,” said Patrick.

How would their lives be different without each other?

Azrael scratched at his mass of curly black hair. “Well…”

“He wouldn’t be half as organized,” Rooney volunteered.

“That’s true,” Azrael admitted. “But also she’d probably have burned down three houses and a barn by now, fooling around with unpredictable magic.”

“He still wouldn’t have a heart,” Rooney said.

Are they ever embarrassed of each other?

Azrael cracked his knuckles. “Heavens, ye – well. Not so much anymore.”

Rooney shook her head and stretched her arms over her head like a tabby cat. “Don’t know the meaning of the word.”

“I think you’re both embarrassing,” said Patrick.

Does anyone ever disapprove of their relationship?

“My sister Bernie.” Azrael wrinkled his nose. “But she disapproves of pretty much everything.”

“My family likes it,” said Rooney. “They think I’m moving up in the world.”

“You are,” said Azrael.

Do they see their relationship as long-term/leading to marriage?

Azrael’s face turned the color of a ripe tomato. “Er, well. I – uh.”

“Don’t say the ‘M’ word,” said Rooney. She leaned forward and held out her left hand. A gold ring, fashioned to resemble a daisy chain, decorated her ring finger. “He’s still adjusting to the ‘E’ word.”

“It comes before M,” Azrael said.

If they could plan the ‘perfect outing,’ where would they go?

“The Greenlands,” they said in unison.

Azrael added, “She still hasn’t seen the icefires yet.”

“He forgot Orion’s birthday,” said Rooney.

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