The Art of Mirriam Neal

//a reply

I opened my inbox and saw your email sitting there. I’ll be honest and say the sight of your name makes me need to take a deep breath and brace myself, but I opened it. You’d read my blog post. You knew ‘Her’ was you. And again, you said you were sorry. I’m not willing to respond to you directly – I may never be, but I want you to know.

I want you to know I’ve forgiven you. I don’t hate you, I never did. I feared you, yes, but never hated. I don’t harbor harsh feelings toward you, only the painful, raw ones. Unhealed.

I want you to know – I believe people change. When you say you have, I’m willing to believe it, but I’m not willing to share my life with you in any way.

I want you to be happy. I want you to embrace new friendships and find a true forever friend, someone who isn’t me. Someone better, someone with an open heart and all the grace and love and wisdom you deserve.

And lastly, I want to thank you, with complete sincerity. Thank you for that last email. It gave me a sense of peace I haven’t felt in over a year. You took the time to write me words that gave my soul a sigh of relief. I want you to have that, and I hope this letter helps wrap things up. People are such strong, fragile things. We can heal from fatal wounds, but a single word can make us fall apart. I’m still putting myself back together, into a different shape. A better one.

I hope you are, too.

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