I’ve never dated, courted, or whatever you want to call it.
It isn’t because I have something against guys – some of my best friends are guys. It just hasn’t ever happened. And I never really cared much until about a year ago, when some kind of rose-colored lightning struck and the majority of my friends began to split off into couples. Before I realized what was going on, people were dating, getting engaged, and tying the knot left and right, and suddenly I felt very…
Well, not lonely. Not unhappy. Not even discontent, per se. But now I was aware that I didn’t have a significant other, and it made me wonder – was something wrong with me? Was I not pretty enough, not interesting enough? Was it because I wasn’t spiritually perfect yet? Was I destined for life in the dreaded friendzone?
One of my guy friends asked me today if it was just his friends who were all getting romantically involved. I told him nope, it’s everywhere. Somewhere a memo was sent, and we missed it.
Yesterday, feeling sick and miserable, I curled up with some coffee and Runaway Bride. In the movie, Maggie runs from her true love at the altar, and they spend the next few months apart, wondering what went wrong. It’s what Maggie does with her time that stood out to me – she doesn’t wallow. She hangs out with her friends, she takes up jogging, she figures out what kind of eggs she likes to eat. Instead of drowning in self-pity, she discovers who she is. She uses the time to get to know herself. Because of this, she’s able to confront her fiancée and ask him to marry her again, without fear or uncertainty, because they both know what they’re getting into.
So what if you’re single? Use your singleness. Get to know yourself. Grow. Focus on your relationships with God and your family and your friends. Try painting. Read books. Work on being a better person. Use your time to better yourself, to find new interests, focus on talents. Don’t stop living just because you can’t update your Facebook relationship status.
Let life happen. It’s okay being single. I promise.